Home

Advertisement

Killing your Darlings

  • Jan. 3rd, 2009 at 8:23 PM
pencil dragon
I took Sarah's challenge and posted a dead darling and I'm following Olmue's lead and posting it here as well.  Here's the one I chose.  Hope it's not too long.

Tara strode back to the edge of the cliff. In the distance, the waves crashed against the rocks. That’s how I feel inside. After a few moments, she filled with a dark dread. She glanced to where her neighbor still stood, his arms folded over his chest, watching her. Over his shoulder, she thought she saw something rolling towards them – just a flicker of light as it moved a leaf across the breeze. Tara shook her head to clear it, but fear pressed against her – forcing her back. She stumbled away and felt the rock crumble beneath her foot. As she began to fall backward, her neighbor’s hand snaked out and grabbed her shirtfront, pulling her back to safe ground. When did he move so close? Rocks clattered behind her and fell down the ravine.

He stood close as Tara caught her breath. When she lifted her gaze to meet his, he stepped back.
“Did you push me?” She hated that her voice quivered.
His eyes widened, but he shook his head. His brows furrowed, and he ran a hand through his hair. “Blimey, how could you think that?’
“I felt something.” She looked away, embarrassed to tell him of the tangible fear when no one had been there but him.
“What?” he asked, but his tone was calm as if he understood.
“I don’t know. It almost seemed as if someone else were here, besides you and me. But we're alone.” Her face warmed.
He nodded. “Tara, you can’t always depend on others to save you. Here in Ireland, you need to trust yourself. If you think you—”

“Oh, don’t worry. You’re not going to have me following you around, hoping you’ll be the white knight and save me from danger. I’m not a complete idiot, despite what you’ve seen. I just stumbled. That’s all.” Without waiting for his reply, she rushed off in the direction of the manor. He mumbled behind her, but she didn’t catch the words. Her camera banged her side, and she heard only the clattering of her own steps against the loose rocks.

I'd completely forgotten about this scene until I flipped through my file of darlings.  I ended up cutting this one because it was too similar to another scene, didn't show anything new about the characters or move the story forward.  But it was still difficult for me to part with.  I've been a little reminiscent this evening flipping through the folder...but promised myself I wouldn't talk myself into replacing any cut scenes in any of my novels.  :)

Thanks for a great post Sarah Prineas!

Tags:

39259 / 50000